Vader Project

I'm thinking of starting a petition to bring the Vader Project to NZ. What do you think?

Zombie Rules

The first shaky, groany step in writing a zombie script. Establishing the rules. What sort of zombies are we dealing with?

Are they Walking Dead. Slow, shambling, moaning decaying cretins from the grave? Can they only be silenced by destroying their brain? And have they risen from the ground due to some bizarre chemical weapons experiment, or because hell is full? Or are they victims of a nasty infection, like African Rabies, which kills the victim and then reanimates them?

Or are they Running Dead. Same as above, but fast and more vicious. Think 'Dawn of the Dead'.

That's option 1. Next entry - Option 2 - 'The Infected'.

Project Zombie

Brendon Simpson and I are embarking on a tramp through the hills of horror and the valleys of viscera. Traversing the mountains of mindless munching maws and the riverbeds of ravenous, reeking, reanimations.

We're writing a New Zealand zombie film.

Influences? Dawn of the Dead (Zach Snyder version), 28 Days Later, and Rec. NOT Brain Dead.

So, I figured I'd take you along for the ride, and give you an insight into the creative process. Whack open the skull of writing and feast on it's grey sludgy insides, as it were.

Battling Cranial Dislocation

A common hazard for we writers who spend so much time on our lonesomes, in our own strange little worlds. Cranial Dislocation - a feeling of disconnection, lowness, and general emotional miasma.

One recipe I have for cranial reattachment:

1. Watching an episode of Dr Who (preferrably starring David Tennant) whilst completing an otherwise boring household task (e.g. folding washing).

2. A 30min run, followed by a shower.

3. A fifteen minute relaxation exercise, stretched out on a three seater couch - best done in front of a fire too, if one can be had.

4. A gourmet burger for lunch.

Not scientifically tested, but it worked for me today.

Image by Gerald Brom.

Raising Hell

Raising Hell is worth checking out, mostly for the artwork rather than the writing. The 'tough-assed-party-hard' dialogue almost made me helicopter hurl - honestly, you can tell when a writer is trying too hard to be edgy and cool. But it all gets quite fun when the zombie hordes turn up.

Raising Hell isn't The Walking Dead, but it's an amusing way to kill some time on a slow, soggy friday.

Do Witches Dream of Blackened Sheep?

Black Sheep Brewery has impressed me with it's impressive impressionistic impressivitism. As in, they make nice beer.

And how could I not try the Holy Grail. Tis my favouritist Monty Python film. "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries." It didn't notice anything hamsterish or elderberryish about the Holy Grail, but it was a nice drop nonetheless. Sweet and fruity with enough bewitching smokeyness to give it a bit of bite. Serve with a twist of lemming. Who does it remind me of? Willow from Buffy, naturally.

Black Sheep Ale is a nice bitter, malty drop. Nothing jumped out at me about this one, but it's still a good way to spend the time it takes to drink a pint. Good for a soggy Auckland winter's day. A comfy brew with few surprises. Let's call it Giles, also from Buffy.

10,000 Leagues Under the Surf

I feel the leviathan of expectation looming over me on this post. All auspicious tentacles and monumental maw.

Ah well. Torpeado my SS Assumption if you must. Which makes me wonder...if you can die of consumption can you also die of assumption? As opposed to coughing up blood you would exanguinate through your...

...right, as I was saying before I got blown off course, 10,000 Leagues Under The Sea is one of those foundin grandaddy stories of steam punk. And it's spawned so much soggy coolness in it's wake.

Captian Nemo and the Nautilus are depicted beautifully in Alan Moore's 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen'. A gentleman psychotic in charge of a stupendously powerful submarine. Groovy.

Then there's 'The Scar' by China Mieville, easily his best book. A floating pirate city summons and harnesses a leviathan to tow it to certain doom. Pirates, vampires, steamborgs and ravenous mosquito women...these are just a few of my favourite things.

And I've always had a soft spot for Jerry Anderson's 'Stingray'. Any TV series shot in a fish tank has my admiration.

Anyway, "So long and thanks for all the fish". Actually, I'm not going anywhere so just...thanks.