Fiction Engine

Monster's Brawl

2009-11-03T14:33:00.000-08:00

Monster's Brawl. The best Halloween I've had in a very long time. The wrestling was ferocious and theatrically brutal, just the way I like it. Well done Liger, great form on those high speed elbow drops - but abandoning your tag team member in the ring to be pummelled thrice by the opposition. What a cad!

And the Pirate City Rollers put on a gruelling and gruesome show. The Hells Belles dealt to the Deadutantes 121-100. The brass fanfare goes to Lucy in Disguise who managed to score an astounding 18 points in one jam for the Hells Belles.

Sheisse Minnelli was sent off for some high flying blocking out of play (naughty girl), and Bad Jelly and Pieces of Hate both put their bodies on the line for out fair and fearsome sport. Get well soon girls!

Thrills and spills a-gore. A brilliant 31st of October.

Image by Michel Mulipola

Creep Thrills

2009-10-28T15:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, admittedly I haven't just been typing away like a rabid baboon. Here's what I've been getting up to in my spare time. Yes, I'm the zombie in the red top hat.

The Balloons of Business

2009-10-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

One very busy tap-typing monkey at the moment. Pulled in all different directions by the ancient Cthulian gods, Commitment and Deadline. Busy is good though, and when it's writing, Roller Derby and family, I can't really complain.

Still, this James Jean illustration sums it up nicely methinks.

Cottage Cheese: Orcland Chronicles, Episode 8

2009-10-11T17:01:00.000-07:00

Dwine has left the soap mines and has repaired to his tree infested lair to refine and craft soap and his own tangy and twisted varieties of cheese in happy, stir-crazy solitude. Dwine hasn't been outside yet today.

All work and no play
All work and no play
All work and no play
All work and no play
All work and no play
All work and no play
All work and no play makes Dwine...

Jests, japes and chicanery. If one can have a jar of capers (Dwine has one in his magical cooling box), can one also have a jar of hi-jinx?

It's time Dwine went out and frolicked in the forest for a spell.

Necrography

2009-10-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

Deadwin's wife is a necrographer. She embalms souls in her two dimensional tombs of paper and ink. Deadwin likes his new 2D residence. It's cosy.

Photo by Vanessa Parker

Kiss Kiss Bash Bash

2009-10-04T18:07:00.000-07:00

The Pirate City Rollers Circus of the Stars was a rolling, romping goregasm of an event. Mascara Massacre and Dead Wreckoning went for each other's throats with viscious abandon. Or viscous abandon in the case of Spew, who did some truly star jamming (14 points in one jam I believe).

Close on her proverbial tail was Skate the Muss who scored 12 points in one jam and Fia Fasi Oi who nailed 11 points. Girls, you is unstoppable.

For the blockers, I tip my hat to Big Mack and Bonnie Blaggard. Roller walls of certain doom those girls.

The evil empire, Dead Wreckoning, took out the bout. But upstarts Mascara Massacre gave them a bruising roll for their money.

Can't wait for the next bouts at Armageddon. Be there, coz we know where you live. And if we're unsure exactly, we may just nuke your suburb.

ciao bellas!

Deadwin

Circus of the Scars

2009-09-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

Roll up, roll up!
Feast your eyes on our banquet of brutality as our beautiful bad-girls of the big top block and bash their way to victory or bruised oblivion.

"Circus of the Scars" - A Roller Derby three ring ripsnorter. This Saturday 6pm at Skateland in Mt Wellington.

Please come...and bring your brains...

Luv,
Deadwin

p.s. Wreckoning and Massacre characters drawn by Kid Liger.

Friday Freak Show

2009-09-25T00:35:00.000-07:00

It's Friday here on the edge of reason. The words are in and the brains are out. I feel much like this kid...

Hold on to your hare, it's off into the bewilderness for the weekend. Ta ta...

Images by James Jean. This guy is phenomenal!

Fictoon Mission Log

2009-09-19T02:48:00.000-07:00

A few more graphic novels bite the dust.

From worst to best...

Batman: The Joker's Last Laugh by Dixon & Beatty - a very weak plot focusing on 'cool' ideas and completely forgetting about character relationships or development. A 'who's who' of DC characters most of whom I've never even heard of. Yuck!

Batman: Hush Returns by AJ Lieberman - some nice moments, particularly when dealing with the Joker. I learned a few new things about my absolute favourite of villians. Aside from the, too much burly heroes/villians duking it out for my liking. Too much punch, not enough plot.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Book 1 by Eastman & Laird. The original stuff, and much grittier than I remember the TV series being. Cool to learn a bit more about the turtles' background, but the series still holds that special place in my heart. A case for the power of development methinks.

Catwoman: When in Rome by Jeph Loeb. Simply and effectively told. I learned a good deal more about my second favourite villian(ess) through a tight, engaging story. Limited characters, limited scenarios, all used to their full potential. And you know what's best about it? Loeb got me to care a whole lot about his characters. Caring is good!

Salad Fingers

2009-09-15T19:15:00.000-07:00

"Salad Fingers' by David Firth is a rare disturbing animated treat. It has a Roman Dirge quality to it, but is inherently more unsettling. There's an atmosphere of lurking dread that I love, and would love to be able to achieve effectively in my own work.

Gird your loins and enter the world of Salad Fingers by clicking on the image above.

The Fictoon Mission 1

2009-09-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

Let's call me Ahab, and let's call writing for animation my Whale. Here begins a three year crusade with the end goal being a gig writing for an established animated series. Along the way, if I end up writing a few comics, mores the better. Nothing like shooting for illustrated stars in an inked sky right?

And thus begins my self-enforced Reading and Viewing log. So far this month...

Hellblazer - Hard Time by Brian Azzarello

(Graphic Novel - Constantine goes to jail. Beautifully depicted brutality. Oz meets Twin Peaks.)

Hellboy - Darkness Calls by Mike Mignola

(Graphic Novel - Hellboy takes on Baba Yaga in her own mind.)

Coraline 3D by Henry Selick

(Feature Animation - Gorgeous rendition of Neil Gaiman's book. That Tim Burtonesque stop animation/CGI that I love so much. And Ian McShayne always rocks.)

Stupiderman

2009-09-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

Why, oh why, is the Spiderman trilogy so spine decalcifyingly stupid? It's not the corny, melodramatic dialogue that constantly turns subtext into slap in the face supertext. It's not the clunky and painfully predictable storylines. At least not for me. It's the fact that there's no jeopardy whatsoever. Spiderman ends up with his arse embedded in brick walls, he bounces off hurtling subway trains, and survives a titanic battle with The Sandman with nothing more than a torn suit filled with sand. Why should I care about these beautifully choreographed battle scenes if the protagonist can't die. He's not risking a damn thing. Hence, no jeopardy = no care.

Rampaging Roller Girls of Rampant Wreckage

2009-09-07T13:39:00.000-07:00

Rampaging roller girls of rampant wreckage, that's what the Pirate City Rollers are! And thank you to our Northern Nightmare sisters for joining us in ravaging the rink.

The School of Hard Blocks graduated it's maidens of mayhem on Saturday in front of a capacity crowd at Skateland.

And the game was closer and gorier than a teenage pashing braces-entangle accident. Teachers Threats came out on top, just, with 116 points. So near yet so far, High School Blockouts scored an astounding 115 points. The highest scoring game I can remember seeing.

My pick for Player of the Match would have to be Spew from the Northern Nightmares who slid fluidly and stealthily across that rink like...well...spew really. Slippery and vicious that girl is.

And a grisly feud developed between Bad Jelly and graduating girl Lil Miss Envy who pounded each other to pulp. Both girls survived some bone shattering hits. One tough witch and one tough sin sister there.

Lucy in Disguise and Scheisse Minelli (usually on the same team) gave each other bloody hell all night too. Where's the love, eh girls? Why can't we all just get along?

So this blood thirsty MC is baying for the next bloody bout on October 3rd at Skateland when Dead Wreckoning faces off against Mascara Massacre in the first league bout of the year.

See you there!

Deadwin

Below - The Microphonic Maestros. From left to right - Mic Riot, Lady Rukus and me, Deadwin.

School of Hard Blocks

2009-09-03T19:53:00.000-07:00

School of Hard Blocks, this Saturday, 6pm at Skatleland in Mt Wellington. Extreme roller derby action from the Pirate City Rollers for the vorcious voyeurs among you.

See you there.

This superlative comic extract is brought to you by Kid Liger.

Screaming into the Darkness

2009-08-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

Dead Snow. Silly but fun. I felt the urge to watch this as part of my 'research' for the zombie script. More holes than a zombie's rotting face, but also some really fine moments. Spoiler Alert - p.o.v. shots from a character whose entrails are being pulled out by two nazi zombies. Lovely!

That said, it did help me along the graveyard pathway to find the crypt with my name on it and what sort of movie I want to write. Silly - no. Gory - not so much. Quirky and funny - maybe, yes. It's all about voice.

Finding one's voice - cliche and brutal reality. How do you get people to listen to you when you're screaming into the darkness? My scream doesn't need to be the loudest, but it needs to stand out from the cacophany of the legions of the damned. My zombie moan needs to be just that little bit different. A little sharper and fresher. And it needs to be inherently me. And what is that? I'm beginning to finally realise that it's quirky/funny. I can do scary, but I don't do serious. Macarbre, not grave.

No, I don't want to go Brain Dead on the movie, nor Dead Snow. But Dawn of the Dead had it's funny/quirky moments. 28 Days Later did as well. 28 weeks didn't, which is why I'm going to ignore it as an influence. Same with Rec. They took themselves too seriously. Dawn and 28 Days got it bang on.

Gunnerkrigg Court

2009-08-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

A little gift for the end of the week. I stumbled across Gunnerkrigg Court through io9. It's cute, gothic, and mysteriously addictive. Nicely told stories with simple, punchy graphics in the cartoony gothic style I love so much.

Thunder Cats

2009-08-11T19:13:00.000-07:00

Remember Thunder Cats? I used to watch this religiously as a kid. Here's a truly groovy fan trailor for a non-existant Thundercats movie. Click on the logo and enjoy. Schnarf!

Derby Boy

2009-08-09T18:34:00.000-07:00

I am now an official roller derby MC! I went along to the MC Idol at the Thirsty Dog last Friday, blew my vocal chords out onto the floor with some grotesquely ott team introductions, and limped away a derby boy. Off to my first practise tonight. Can't wait!

Thank you to the Pirate City Roller girls for a warm welcome. Best night out I've had in ages.

The Infected

2009-07-30T22:34:00.000-07:00

The great Zombies vs Infected debate.

What are the Infected? People afflicted with a terrible disease that turns them into homicidal maniacs and cannibals.

28 Days & Weeks Later

Planet Terror

Resident Evil (The Game)

House of the Dead: Overkill (The Game)

I'm playing House of the Dead at the moment on the Wii. Brutally, exuberantly vile and fun. It's very Grind House, like being in Planet Terror. Highly recommended.

Now, are the Infected really less scary than zombies? They're faster, but can die far more easily. Like a normal old human. No head shots necessary. And they will eventually die of thirst or starve to death. Not relentless shambling doom like a zombie horde.

Still, there's something more 'real' about the Infected. Less necromagical. A good honest virus doing good honest nasty stuff to people. Passed by bite or blood...or sex (we're not planning to go there, are we Brendon?)

It's a bit of a dilemma really.

Steam Over

2009-07-27T18:04:00.000-07:00

I'm delighted to see that you can steam punk virtually anything. A steam over, as it were.

And this laptop, I want to to be mine. Oh please, please. A Hewlett-Packard ZT1000 laptop that features an elaborate display of clockworks under glass, engraved brass accents, claw feet, an antiqued copper keyboard and mouse, and leather wrist pads. It turns on with an antique clock-winding key by way of a custom-built ratcheting switch made from old clock parts.

My drool is turning to steaming.

Battle Cry

2009-07-13T16:14:00.001-07:00

Everyone should have a battle cry. Mine's "Orange Hedge" , from a special episode of Blackadder.

"Is that an orange hedge running towards us?"

"No, sir. It's the Scots."

Favourite Super Hero battle cry?

"Spoon" care-of The Tick. One of the silliest and coolest cartoons I've ever seen.

Netted by the Temptress

2009-07-09T03:34:00.000-07:00

Whilst writing, beware the dark temptress of the internet, with her teasing images, tantalizing blog entries, and simmering aromatic teaspoons of facecrack. Unplug. It's the only way. Lest she suck the time out of you, minute by distractingly delectable minute.

BTW - writing a Shortland Street script at the moment. Tis why you haven't heard from me lately. Back soon!

Vader Project

2009-07-02T18:52:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking of starting a petition to bring the Vader Project to NZ. What do you think?

Zombie Rules

2009-06-29T18:06:00.000-07:00

The first shaky, groany step in writing a zombie script. Establishing the rules. What sort of zombies are we dealing with?

Are they Walking Dead. Slow, shambling, moaning decaying cretins from the grave? Can they only be silenced by destroying their brain? And have they risen from the ground due to some bizarre chemical weapons experiment, or because hell is full? Or are they victims of a nasty infection, like African Rabies, which kills the victim and then reanimates them?

Or are they Running Dead. Same as above, but fast and more vicious. Think 'Dawn of the Dead'.

That's option 1. Next entry - Option 2 - 'The Infected'.

Project Zombie

2009-06-25T19:07:00.000-07:00

Brendon Simpson and I are embarking on a tramp through the hills of horror and the valleys of viscera. Traversing the mountains of mindless munching maws and the riverbeds of ravenous, reeking, reanimations.

We're writing a New Zealand zombie film.

Influences? Dawn of the Dead (Zach Snyder version), 28 Days Later, and Rec. NOT Brain Dead.

So, I figured I'd take you along for the ride, and give you an insight into the creative process. Whack open the skull of writing and feast on it's grey sludgy insides, as it were.